Ballades Of The Birth-Rate.


“O listen to our tale of woe!”
The statisticians cry in chorus:
“The birth-rate’s gone to Billyho!”
(Which lies between Virgo and Taurus:
You’ll find it in a star thesaurus.)
“Where’s the bambino you should carry,
Madonna? Isis! where is Horus?”
—But why don’t statisticians marry?

It seems the girls are strangely slow,
Or else the wives who should adore us
Too often grunt the naughty “No!”
Which lies between Virgo and Taurus.
“Thank you,” they say; “but babies bore us:
Take your stakissticks to Old Harry!”
And if we grumble, they ignore us:
—But why don’t statisticians marry?

“Amant,” they calculate; but, O!
If “Amo! Amo!” they would roar us,
‘T would quicken more the glacier’s flow
Which lies between Virgo and Taurus!
Spirit of Sairey, hovering o’er us,
So to dispoge things do not tarry:
Stiffen the knees! urge the pylorus!
—But why don’t statisticians marry?

LUCINA! find the plaster porous
Which lies between Virgo and Taurus,
And then we’ll be as happy as Larry!
—But why don’t statisticians … marry?

Rate this post
Previous articleOf Purple Pimples.
Next articleIn Memoriam Tranquillissimam,


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here