Of Queries.

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Why do the girls always fumble their backs?
(Since a skirt can be buttoned, a blouse can be holed.)
Why haven’t authors got money in stacks?
But why is hotel hot-water cold?
Why does a marriage turn saint into scold?
Why is a Spring when it hasn’t been coiled?
And why is a widow so quickly consoled?
But why is restaurant roast-beef boiled?

Why when a “huge conflagration” “attacks,”
Does “the element” “roar” and “devour,” uncontrolled
By the country reporter, whom nobody smacks?
But why is hotel hot-water cold?
And why is manuscript posted rolled,
When an editor’s soul is so easily soiled
By language the editor cannot hold?
But why is restaurant roast-beef boiled?

Why hasn’t everyone all that he lacks?
Why isn’t all that is glittering, gold?
Why isn’t everything sealskin that’s sacques?
But why is hotel hot-water cold?
And why does all beauty return to the mould?
Why is the clover so rare quatrefoiled?
Why aren’t our bankers as soft as of old?
But why is restaurant roast-beef boiled?

HINT, BY WAY OF MESSAGE.

ROBINSON! ask not, overbold,
“But why is hotel hot-water cold?”
Brown and Jones have the answer oiled:
“But why is restaurant roast-beef boiled?”

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