Owed To Woolloomooloo, N.S.W.

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A resident of Woolloomooloo has provided a new pathos. He writes to the Sydney press pointing out that “something practical must be done to remove the odium at present associated with the name of Woolloomooloo.” It seems that W. is now “one of the healthiest parts of the city … bounded on one side by the Domain and on another by the harbour … bracing sea-breezes … no plague-infested rodent … Except a few lanes the streets are all of the regulation width … no drains between us and the Darling Harbour.” Nevertheless, Woolloomooloo has a tradition: the scent of the roses clings round it still. “Country people will not reside there, and if they stay with relatives they have their letters addressed elsewhere”!—lest their country friends jeer. “Some suggest to alter the name of the whole district to St. Kilda”!

Wake, harp of my country! and thrill to
A Woolloomoolunatic strain,
For Woolloomooloo is a suburb like few
(If you call it “the Lower Domain”).
Wake, harp of my land! from thy dreaming
And help a delusion to quash,
For its ‘air, like a barber’s, is oiled by the harbour’s
Fine odoriferous wash.

O Woolloomoolily, the lonely!
O Woolloomoolady, my love!
No fever or ague comes ever to plague you:
Your sewers are pure as a dove.
With rents, like your altitudes, modest;
Society sweet as your drains;
With all your “outrages” away in dark ages,
What matter your “few little lanes”?
Your roads are as wide as the widest;
You bask in a “beautiful view”;
And, chaste as cucumbers, no John ever lumbers
The maidens of Woolloomooloo.

O Woolloomoolethal no longer!
O Woolloomoolewd nevermore!
When I give up the ghost all the heavenly host
I shall lead to your Beautiful Shore!
On the Woolloomoolittoral, fanned by
The Woolloomoolibertine (?) breeze
(Bringing landlords who languish surcease from their anguish)
We’ll drink to the Woolloomoolees;
We’ll be Woolloomoolucrative lodgers
In Woolloomooluxury cast,
And Eternity’s stories shall tell of your glories
To the infinite Woolloomoolast!

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