Is the weather getting wetter? Write a letter! Write a letter!
Is the state of Egypt better? Write a letter!
Do you smell the city drains? Is Siberia in chains?
Does your stomach give you pains? Write a letter!
Have you found a new religion or a bargain at the draper’s?
Write a letter! Write a letter! Write a letter to the papers.
Are you troubled by a debtor? Write a letter! Write a letter!
Do you know a cure for tetter? Write a letter!
When the summer wind begins do you feel it in your shins?
Do you know the loss of pins? Write a letter!
When your dog has got distemper or your wife has got the vapours,
Write a letter! Write a letter! Write a letter to the papers!
Have you met a wicked sweater? Write a letter! Write a letter!
Did your hen thrive when you set her? Write a letter!
Have you views about the trams? Think the politicians shams?
Know the pedigree of yams? Write a letter!
When a comet is careering or a cow is up to capers,
Write a letter! Write a letter! Write a letter to the papers!
